The Terminal (2004, VHS)

Tom Hanks has a penchant for playing characters who get stuck living out of their element. It could be a 12-year-old kid in an adult's body, an obsessive-compulsive Fed Ex guy stuck on an island, or in the case of The Terminal, a Bulgarian-speaking citizen of Krakozia stuck in an American airport.

Because of a war that overthrew the government in his home country of Krakozia, Viktor Navorski (Hanks) is sort of a liability (I guess) to the United States, who no longer "recognize" his country. Long story short, Viktor cannot leave the airport for an indefinite period of time, which ends up being the better part of a year.

In that time, Viktor wanders about, unable to communicate with anyone, much less understand the news reports. He has no food, no money, no idea what anyone expects of him.

But when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Viktor takes it upon himself to learn English. We all take it for granted, our ability to meet someone halfway in a conversation, but watching Viktor does make you appreciate it somewhat. And for a while it's actually fun while he's meeting girls, sticking up for the wrongfully accused, and even wandering into a job that pays $19.00 an hour. Hello envy!

But, of course, for every happy-go-lucky free bird in the world, there's a big meanie control freak out to take it away. Stanley Tucci, who was stunning in Shall We Dance, plays the "villain" who is not really a villain because he's just trying to do his job. But now he's on the verge of a badass promotion, and the slightest misstep with Viktor could send it all crashing down for him.

Then you also have a little love subplot with an airline stewardess, Amelia (Catherine Zeta-Jones). Her script is that of one who has the worst luck ever imagined, and the way she spouts off her life story like one gigantic rehearsed rant for the first person to lend an ear is so much like me I'd almost like to call it brilliant.

There are two different ways that the movie can go as of this point, and neither way really makes you want to care too much. It could delve into an attempt at some kind of a linear story involving Tucci, despite the suffocating airport setting. Or it could just be a series of random occurrences that give insight into Hanks' character and possibly comment on pop culture in the process.

The problem with the first way is that you can't exactly make a linear story out of that situation. He gets in trouble. He gets out of trouble. You could go back and forth like that until kingdom come and nobody's gonna lift an eyelid. The problem with the second way is that then it's more like you're watching a documentary, or maybe an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos, but not a movie. It's impossible to know what to expect, and I'm not even sure director Steven Speilberg knew what to expect of himself, trying to piece this "puzzle" together.

Regardless, there is no question that Hanks has the chops to hold this thing together in some shape or form. Lest we forget, this is the man who made a conversation with a volleyball interesting. Sporting a flawlessly borderline-unintelligible accent and a business suit around the clock, Hanks essentially makes this a role that you couldn't imagine any other actor playing.

Stanley Tucci is thrust into a fairly flat role as the boss, but the guy knows stoic and he doesn't have to break a sweat to get the job done. Everybody loves a calm, collective "villain".

Despite a few nice acting performances, The Terminal is an unfortunate bout of boredom otherwise. You'd think being a supposed "critic" of sorts, I could come up with a better excuse than "Oh, it was boring." Okay, maybe I'd give it a rental, as I was fond of it upon the first viewing. But as for a permanent purchase and repeat playage, forget about it. I'm pretty sure you will.