Master of Puppets - Metallica (Cassette)

METALLICA MONOLOGUES: THE PUPPETS SPEAK
A new play by Eve Ensler

Bass Guitar

You want me to talk about Master of Puppets ? Well, I'll tell you, it was the last album with Cliff Burton. That s most what I think about when I think about that album. Cliff died in that bus crash in Sweden, or where-the-f*ck-ever. I miss Cliff he played me really well. He was rhythmic and powerful when he played me, I felt percussive. And the bastards mixed me down. Listen to Master of Puppets now? All guitars, all drums, all James. Guitars, guitars, guitars, drums, drums, drums, James, James, James. Where s the bass? Where s the f*ckin bass, man?

People don t understand how important the bass is, and there are very few producers who really know how to make a bass sound really good. And that s just wrong, you know? I mean, I ain t no f*cking Mellotron, okay? I'm an impact player, you know? I m a guitar, just like any other guitar! Just because I ve got four fat strings instead of six skinny ones, it doesn t make me less important.

I mean, don t get me wrong, I really respect the guitars and everything, and I admit that on Battery and The Thing That Should Not Be , I do sound pretty hot and me and the drums we re like this, y know. Whatever I do, he does, and whatever he does, I do too. But I wish that I would ve gotten a little more of the spotlight, y know? Not so much for myself. No, totally not for me. But for Cliff. He was really really good at playing me. And he was a good guy too. I mean, everybody liked him. And I just feel like, in order to get the recognition he deserved, he had to die, you know? He had to make that ultimate sacrifice just so that the world would see how great he was.

Don t get me wrong, Jason Newsted, the guy who filled in after Cliff died - he was a great player, and I have to give him total respect for coming into this band that was already established, and just you know - going with it. I mean, good for him, right?

But Cliff was something special. He was powerful, but on songs like Master of Puppets and that instrumental Orion , he had this amazing melodic sense. And the dude made me laugh. I mean, the way he swung his hair around was a riot. The guy was a walking party. I really feel like I was privileged to be played by him. [stifling tears] D@mn it, I promised myself I wouldn t do this. I need to stop. Can we stop now?

Microphone

In madness, you dwell! he shouts in my face. In madness, indeed!

As a microphone, I ve experienced my share of bad singers, bad lyrics, and bad breath, but surely James Hetfield, the singer of this Metallica group, is one of the worst I ve come across. Is this what the kids are listening to these days? Sophomoric, self-important shouting? Bombastic, over-baked lyrics about addiction, powerlessness, insanity, violence and bondage? Check out this supposedly poetic stanza from Disposable Heroes , which talks about conformity and obedience in a military, war-like context:

Soldier boy, made of clay
Now an empty shell
Twenty-one, only son
But he served us well

On one hand, I have to give loud-mouthed Jimmy some credit for taking on a complex theme. On the other hand, I get a little sick of blood this and death that and kill, kill, kill and die, die, die, and if only I had arms, I d like to smack the guy around a little.

I have to admit though, in the context of the music, it all kinda works. I mean, no one s actually gonna sit down just to read the lyric sheet, right? This is more about gesture and feeling, fist-pumping and head-banging not literal meaning, right? No one s paying me to be a literary critic here I m just a microphone, and I m just supposed to listen and record what I hear and keep my mouth shut, right? So what the hell am I griping about?

Okay, I ll shut up now.

Lead Guitar

I love Debussy. I love the baroque period. And I love what Kirk Hammett does to me. You hear that acoustic passage at the opening of Battery . That s me, and I love it. And I love Kirk. I loved his long wavy locks until he cut them off a couple years ago. He s so - what s the word? - Euro. Especially for a metal guitarist. Michael Schenker from the Scorpions was Euro too, but the Scorpions were a German band. Metallica were from California.

I ll be honest with you. I wasn t thrilled about moving to California to be in a thrash metal band. I d heard terrible things about these bands. Untalented, adolescent guitarists doing clumsy, amelodic leads that made no musical sense. Just noise, noise, noise, played as loud and fast as possible.

Metallica also played loud and fast and hard, but as I soon found out, Kirk was different. When I met him, I just melted. I heard music everywhere, and in everything. He transformed my world. He was so beautiful, so exotic, and when he played me, I felt like an extension of that. For probably the first time in my life, I felt beautiful and not just a little aroused. I mean, life as a rock guitar was nothing my sheltered classical training had prepared me for. All the drinking, the parties, the crowded clubs with bad acoustics the stage diving, the moshing. And then, as Metallica grew more popular, the stadiums, the massive world tours. It was all so far away from the stuffy academies and philanthropic dinner parties. And I love that about being in this band.

But most of all, I love Kirk, and I love what I sound like on Master of Puppets . I love that he took the kinds of risks that he did. Surely, he could have just banged out a bunch of generic solos and the records still would have sold. I still would have been a star, but he dared to make me magical. I still get goosebumps when I hear what he did to me in Orion I sound sexy and reptilian in that song, like the serpent in the Garden of Eden, all slithery, sliding harmonies. His solos are mysterious and complex even when they are blisteringly fast.

But, it s the quieter moments, like that gorgeous, almost pastoral passage in Master of Puppets , when I get lost in the notes, when he makes me sing in those delicate harmonies in those moments, I feel an expansive, oceanic beauty. I feel ecstatic. In those moments, I feel as if I could go on forever, just like that. It s those moments that make the faster solos - like the one that follows just a minute later in the same song - meaningful and exciting to me. It s in those quiet moments that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Kirk loves me. I want Kirk. I need Kirk. I would do anything for Kirk. He is my oxygen.

Rhythm Guitar

What the f*ck are you lookin at, @sshole? I ll mop the floor with your face! You think I won t? What was that? You think I won t? You wanna try me? You wanna say that to my face? C mon, you little poseur, let s take this outside, motherf*cker! C mon! Is that all you got? Oh yeah, you bet your @ss you re sorry now. You should be sorry! Why don t crawl on home to Mommy and tell her about it!

Drum Kit

You know, I really relate to Whoopi Goldberg s character in The Color Purple , in that one scene where she tells Harpo to beat Oprah Winfrey. It s one of those scenes that you know everyone in the audience is going, like, oh God, how could she say that, how could she say that? But, hey, you know, you can t pass judgment on her. You just can t. Because all she knew was beatings. Beatings, beatings, beatings. That was her life. It wasn t nice, but it was just all she knew. Can you really blame her for that?

It s the same thing with being a drum kit. I mean, the sad truth of it is that drum kits their very existences they re about getting beaten. That s our life. I can t change that.

When I told my parents that I was a drum kit, I mean, they were cool about it and everything, but I just don t think they ever really understood. They were like, What did we do wrong? Why are you like this? Why would you choose this kind of life for yourself?, and I have to, you know, explain it to them, like, hey, this isn t a choice, man. I mean, I didn t just wake up one day and say, hey, I wanna be a drum kit, I wanna get beaten up all day. No way. It wasn t like that. Being a drum kit, it s not a choice, you know? You re either a drum kit, or you re not, okay? And it wasn t like some evil musician turned me into a drum kit. I was manufactured this way. This is what I am. Deal with it. You know?

Still, when I first met Lars Ulrich, like what it is now? 20, 25 years ago maybe I mean, I knew that getting played by him was gonna be a tough gig. I mean, he s a demon. A savage. The man has no empathy at all. He s like one of those insane mathematicians who can t see the savage cruelty of what he does, because he s so focused on the precision of it. I mean, listen to the way he pummels me into submission on The Thing That Should Not Be . Yes, it s cruel, and yes, it s painful, but it makes absolute sense it s that cold, unfeeling precision. I fear him, but at the same time, I trust him unconditionally.

When I think of all of my bruises, the long years I ve spent laboring under Lars, suffering his blows, I sometimes wish that I had been Ringo Starr s drum kit, or Bill Berry s. Those drum kits had much simpler lives, you know? But, you know, Berry s kit where is it now? Some farm in Georgia, collecting dust? And Ringo does he even play the drums anymore? I mean, would I really want to hang around a bunch of past-their-prime musicians touring the world playing Back-off Boogaloo ? No. No f*ckin way do I want that.

I know that life with Lars is hard, but especially in the old days, you know, back during the recording sessions of Master of Puppets , it was like, I really felt like part of something something big, something bigger and more important than my own suffering. Lars may be a cruel master, but back then, I understood the importance of what he was doing. And when, during the song Master of Puppets , in the chorus, when everything stops for a split second, and James sang Mas-ter! Mas-ter! , and Lars pounded me on those four syllables, I felt it, y know. Or on Disposable Heroes , where James sings like a military tyrant You will do what I say! You will die when I say! , there were those extended instrumental passages, and Lars was thrashing out rhythms on me harder and faster than I d ever been played before, and it was like Lars was speaking to me, commanding me - I felt powerful. Ennobled. I mean, even though I was getting sh*t kicked out of me, I felt powerful, not powerless, not some helpless victim. Every sadist needs a good masochist, you know? That s the part I play, and that works for me. I think that Lars - his discipline and his brutality have taught me what being a drum kit is, you know? what it s all about. And I think that was especially true on the early albums like Master of Puppets .

You know, I understand that some people might think that I m sick, or crazy, or whatever. But I m proud of what I am. I m proud to be Lars Ulrich s drum kit. I think my parents had hoped for something better for me. My life could ve been a lot easier, but, you know? This is what I am. I am part of one of the world s greatest bands, and I was part of one of their greatest albums and I wouldn t trade that for anything. F*ck Ringo Starr. F*ck Bill Berry.

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"Master of Puppets" by Metallica
Elektra Records
Released 1986

Produced by Metallica & Flemming Rasmussen
55 min.

SONGS: Battery - Master of Puppets - The Thing That Should Not Be - Welcome Home (Sanitarium) - Disposable Heroes - Leper Messiah - Orion - Damage, Inc.