The Shipping News (2002, VHS)

Shipping News starts off with the very clich scene of a father throwing the kid in the lake sink or swim. Yep. I m sure it was done. I know it was done. But, the dock toss has been done to death in literature and film. And, really now, if that is the very worst thing that happens in your childhood, then you are very lucky as long as you did not drown straight up when tossed in. That could be a problem to be sure. It probably did happen (ending up dead) to someone, somewhere, but it did not happen to Quoyle (Kevin Spacey).

This guy manages to make it to adulthood with all his flaws and pretty surely a large dose of less than genius genes. Average is average, and below is not an uncommon thing. You take average and then put half above and half under and push Quoyle down closer the bottom end. No shame in that. I know plenty that are not ever going to be brain surgeons, but that doesn t mean they are stupid all round and in all areas. That is the flaw here, I think. Quoyle is just too dumb to be a person period.

He manages to get a sex favor from Petal. You do not have to be beautiful or bright to get a roll in the hay. I must also confess that I ve read about the book this was based on, and it seems that Petal was intrigued by this very large man (not so big in size in the video). She wanted a big you-know-what. That is one of those cultural myths. Even if you can swing a mallet but miss the mark, then so what. It s very doubtful that our poor, sad hero here has a clue in the bed as he has not clue anywhere else. So, I can see Petal giving him a one night stand but not her hand in marriage.

But, that is what happens. These two very freaky folks get married. Then, Petal cuts out and leaves old Quolye with Bunny. Did you ever consider naming your kid Bunny? Didn t think so. But, Bunny it is and she is her Daddy s girl, since her mother is always off and gone until . . .

One day Petal shows back up and takes Bunny away. I am a single parent and even thought the dad-person is involved and much appreciated, my kids would kick a stink about suddenly being picked up and given a new life. The plan here (which Bunny probably did not know about as a kid person) was that she was sold off to a family for a price. But, this trip to bountiful sell-you-kid ends with a wreck that kills old idiot mom that never had any redeeming qualities.

In the meantime, Quoyle finds that his mom and dad went belly up. They had some kind of pact tied to a bad sickness, and I was so bored and drifting off that I don t know what happened for sure. But, they did a double suicide and left poor Quoyle to fend for himself as always but with an inheritance.

Quoyle gets Bunny (the kid and not the dead girlfriend) back and goes back to his home place (big old Halloween scary place) where he finally finds a friend and gets a job at the newspaper. His old aunt plays in here and confesses to some sort of incest and having a female love now. I may be wrong, and that s OK. But, I do not think that being abused makes someone gay. Talk about a strange crew, and I m usually fine with oddballs in strange sorts of films. This one is just well odd and not intriguing.

Right from the start, I did not buy that Quoyle made it with Petal and then that they got married and that they had the kid and that he was a solid and almost perfect dad. Petal running off with the kid without any major kicking and screaming rang odd. In fact, there were very few things here that made any sense in the world I have lived. The characters just did not act normal and not even normal for those challenged in many ways. I ve been around a load of different people from different backgrounds and with different levels of understanding. None of these looked, smelled, or tasted any real person I ever ran across.

I really hate I rented this one. I like to like movies, and I just kind of drifted in and out and thought how stupid everything in this one seemed. I could see a decent story there, but they did not get the right players and right words and did not get an overall feel of realism or even fantasy realism.

I still think the book may be OK, and I think I may read it. That comes from good reviews and certainly not from watching this lame film. The way this one plays, I have to say I d rather just file my toenails or organize the lids on my Tupperware than watch it.