Destruction by Definition - Suicide Machines (The) (CD 1996)

Just like LessThanNick's review, I hadn't heard Suicide Machines until their song "New Girl" appeared in Tony Hawk's Playstation game. Even then, I thought they were Rancid (but a quick reference to the credits proved me wrong). Although New Girl did, as they say, rock, I didn't pay them much attention.

Then I saw them at Warped Tour in '00. Even THEN, I didn't pay much attention. And then, a month later, I saw them while they were touring with Less Than Jake (*in Simpsons comic book store guy voice*, "best ska show EVER."). Then it sorta clicked with me... "hey... these guys ROCK." It then dawned on me that I've been depriving myself of chewy, chocolatey ska/skatepunk goodness. So, to right my sinful wrong, I went down to my local independent punk music store (if you call a 30 minute train ride, and then a 15 minute hike down a busy street "local") and grabbed the first Suicide Machines album I saw.

Now, I remember my friend Mike saying, "Now Tyler... don't get the self-titled one. It really sucks." But, being the ignorant fool that I am, I did. Why? because it was eleven dollars. Giggling gleefully like a schoolgirl, I scuttled home with my prize and popped it into my CD player. And lo and behold, the jerk was RIGHT. It SUCKED.

Disappointed, I went to school and offered to sell it to someone for 11 dollars. Then, a cohort of mine happened to pull out Destruction By Definition out of his patch-covered backpack. I started listening to it, and my faith in Suicide Machines Returned with the first drum-roll of New Girl, the first track.

So, I took a trip down to the store again that weekend and picked myself up a copy of Destruction by Definition, and it's easily one of the most-played ska CDs I own, rivalled only by Less Than Jake's "Hello Rockview" and "Losing Streak", and Against All Authority's "Destroy What Destroys You". I bring it to school and we listen to it while skating and trying to ollie over the garbage cans we steal from the cafeteria. I listen to it while walking home. I listen to it while playing Tony Hawk 3. I listen to it a LOT.

But why? What makes it so delicious? Is it the combination of skatepunk and ska? Is it the hidden cover of Minor Threat's "I Don't Wanna Hear It"? The DIY appearance of the insert? No, those are all perfectly good reasons for buying Destruction By Definition, but I'm afraid the main reason is this: JAY'S BUTTCRACK ON THE COVER. That's right, there's something for the ladies in this, too!

But seriously, this is one great album. I've been listening to it since the beginning of summer and I haven't gotten sick of it yet, and favourite songs keep shifting from track to track, keeping it fresh and new. And, as all albums do, it has some key tracks:

New Girl: The infamous song that appeared on Tony Hawk Pro Skater's soundtrack, and probably the first song a lot of Suicide Machine's fans heard.
No Face: Probably the most ska-ish track on the album. Really simple but memorable and catchy lyrics.
Hey: It starts off almost in a heavy metal riff, but then breaks into really bouncy horns with fast lyrics.
Vans Song: A simple song about simple things: shoes. Vans shoes, to be more exact.
I Don't Wanna Hear It: Not even their song, but one of the best on the album. I love the added "f*ck!" at the end.

So there ya have it, folks. If you're looking for an album to listen to while skateboarding, or just something to listen to while you're driving around, make it this one. Because if you don't, I'll track you down and put gum in your hair.