Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1994, VHS)

Please excuse that title.

Although I'm giving this movie a five-star rating, I can't exactly say I get a four-star enjoyment out of it. While I do LIKE Snow White, I don't find it some SUPER AMAZING film that I'd watch again and again. Its one of those movies that on the occasion, you just sit down and watch with your kids. In the midst of this, you can admire the scenery and the good animation of a film hailing all the way from 1937.

Yes, it is that ground-breaking 1937-ness that gives Snow White a five star. As I said, I don't enjoy it like I do my favorite films, but I respect it- it was the first full-length animated feature film, and watching it today, I was actually quite amazed at what they were able to do back in the day.

Snow White is a musical, plain and simple- there's singing, then a little talking, then a whole six-minute song built off of that talking, more little talking, another six-minute song from it, and so forth. This process continues over and over, only being interrupted by the sequences which have the evil Queen Stepmother, or the Former Fairest Lady in the Land. She never sings. She finds herself too wicked for it.

But Snow White herself does sing, and when she does, all the birds in the forest sing along with her. Thus, we have a musical. It is from this film that you get that bird-singing scene in Shrek.

Alright, the plot. Snow White, some young chick with skin as white as snow, hair black as... coal?, and some really red lips, somehow has come to live with her stepmother, The Evil Queen (I don't think she's ever given a name besides that). The Evil Queen, quite frankly, is a b*tch, and all she cares about is herself, and all that matters to her is whether or not she's more beautiful than anyone in the land- I find she has many of characteristics of my little sister.

Evil Queen has a magic mirror, and she asks this modern mirror daily if she is the fairest one of all. For a long time, the mirror said she was. But then, one day, the Evil Queen is told that her stepdaughter, Snow White, is the newfound fairest one of all. Evil Queen gets jealous with rage and sends a hunter to kill her. The hunter, while unsure, proceeds to do so, and finds Snow White in the woods. Right before he is about to kill her, his conscience gets the best of him, and he tells Snow White to run away so that the queen will think she is dead. The queen asks for Snow White's heart after her death- the hunter gives her a pig's heart, thought she does not know it.

After one REALLY trippy scene involving forest animals, Snow White finds a house in the woods, inhabited by seven dwarfs, those being Doc, Bashful, Sleepy, Grumpy, Happy, Sneezy, and Dopey. And the story goes on- I'm sure you already know the rest of it, but in case you don't, I'll just hold off there.

As I said, the animation is astounding, for that time period anyway- the backgrounds aren't too eye-popping, but the foregrounds, being Snow White, the animals, and the dwarves, are all very lush and modern looking- however, they're done quite weirdly. Snow White and Evil Queen look very much real, but the dwarves seem to exist in another dimension of animation, where they look... well, cartoonish. They don't seem to quite fit. However, the trippiness of it all makes the movie work.

The sound quality, unfortunately, isn't all that great- I have a DVD Special Edition copy of Snow White, and even then, on my Pioneer sound system, the voices and sounds were a bit muffled, like something out of an AM radio broadcast. I could still hear the songs, and the orchestra, but just not with the quality that I hear them with in other movies.

The songs- oh yes, those are just weird. Snow White sings, and the animals move to her voice, which unfortunately, isn't that great. While the dwarves and the Prince have manly, professional voices, hers is just mousy, and somewhat annoying. Its certainly not something I'd put into a Broadway musical- but you kinda have to ignore it when you're watching 50 birds and deer move along with her. Its trippy. Really, really trippy.

I like the Dwarves, all with the exception of Dopey (I can't stand him, not even in a "cute" way), but I've never understood why Doc is called Doc- sure, he wears glasses, and checks the breakage and cleavage of stones, but outside of that studious world, he's stupid. Grumpy, however, contains a high amount of intelligence and reason that I find respectable- I really can't blame him for his poor opinion of Snow White. It is true, most women are just trying to work their wicked wiles on you :-D.

And, I believe that's all I can say about this Disney production. If it wouldn't have been the first, it probably wouldn't have its five-star from me- but it is the first, so that's what it gets. And this is one weird movie- if I ever become a pothead or an acid dropper (two things I do not intend), I will make sure to watch this movie one time so that I can laugh at it with my friends.

"Whoa." -Neo

Rating: A-