Big Ones - Aerosmith (CD 1994)

This is my entry for Aerocat's Aerosmith write-off. It's been a busy couple of weeks, so I'm taking the easy road and reviewing a greatest hits album. Eventually, I'll up my Aerosmith content.


About a year after listening to Get a Grip every single night one summer, I found a new Aerosmith addiction: Big Ones. This album contains their biggest hits from Permanent Vacation, Pump, and Get a Grip, plus a few other nice additions. I had yet to get their first greatest hits album and subsequently check out other full albums, but Big Ones was a perfect way to get me on the right track.

It starts with Walk On Water, one of the two songs made for this album. This one has very cool verses and an addictive chorus. Kudos to Aerosmith for using the word "booyah" twice in one song and not sounding ridiculous. The other new song is Blind Man, a medium-paced, almost bluesey song with a spiritual, uplifting message: "I met a blind man who taught me how to see." This is a really good song, though it may take a while to grow on you.

Walk On Water is followed by two more fun hits: Love In An Elevator and Rag Doll. It's sad when young artists can't sing about sex as well as old timers. It's all about innuendo, baby: "Go-ing down."

What It Takes, an excellent breakup song, breaks up the jovial mood for a bit with lines like "Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night/ Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life/ To the toss of the dice." But then Dude Looks Like a Lady blasts forward as probably the most well-known track on the album and one of the best androgyny-related songs ever: "She had the body of a Venus/ Lord, imagine my surprise." The Other Side is another one of the band's peppiest tunes and fits in nicely with the other fun ones.

One of my favorite Aerosmith songs is Janie's Got a Gun. This one demonstrates the band's dark side, as the music perfectly sets the mood for an angry, haunting song about a girl who takes ultimate revenge on her abusive father: "She had to take him down easy/ And put a bullet in his brain."

Many people attribute Get a Grip's popularity solely to the "Alicia Silverstone trilogy," three videos that featured the beautiful blonde actress, one also featuring Steven Tyler's daughter Liv. While it's true that the video may have attracted many fans, I think these songs are fantastic and would have done fine without the videos.

Crazy is a slow, sexy, bluesy tune. This is a great one to sing along to because the worse your vocals are, the better it works! Cryin' has that very recognizable, pulsing riff and relatable lyrics: "I was cryin' when I met you/ Now I'm tryin' to forget you/ Your love is sweet misery." Great tune, but not as great as the uplifting Amazing. This one is driven by soft piano notes and vocals that sound genuinely pained until the chorus when Tyler rejoices: "It's amazin'/ In the blink of an eye when you finally see the light."

I don't remember Eat the Rich being released as a single, but I'm glad it's here. I love the slamming drum beats, the nifty guitar riff, and the clever, p*ssed off lyrics from Tyler, everyone's favorite of course being "Take that Grey Poupon, my friend, and shove it up your a*s!"

At first, Deuces Are Wild seems like just another slow love ballad. But it quickly loses that feeling and picks up the pace with a catchy, rocking chorus: "I love ya cuz your deuces are wild, girl/ Like a double shot of love is so fine/ I've been lovin' you since you was a child, girl/ Cuz you and me is two of a kind."

Angel, on the other hand, is a love ballad but a damned good one. It's energetic but with plenty of emotion. It's sad without being sappy, and if it were ever to be considered "just another '80s power ballad," that would be very unfair. Angel is a beautifully executed song and deserves more credit than it gets.

The perfect way to close the album is with the epic Livin' On the Edge. It was worthy of spawning a Weird Al parody, but the best part of the song is its message and delivery, both of which are powerful as can be. As the album winds down, we're left with the message that "There's something right with the world today and everybody knows it's wrong."

Big Ones is an essential for anyone looking to get into Aerosmith, but their first greatest hits album should not be overlooked. This is a band that has stayed strong for decades, always evolving and appealing to various tastes but, for the most part, always retaining their title as one of rock's most important acts. If you don't already have Big Ones, it's about time you grow some and buy it.


Great Music to Play While: Getting a quick Aerosmith fix