Rock in a Hard Place - Aerosmith (CD 1993)

INTRODUCTION
Hello, everybody. This is John Bishop typing, the DeadMilkboy of Epinions.com. Before I launch into the following review, I d like to mention that this is part of a series of reviews I m writing based on one of the greatest American rock n roll bands in history, AEROSMITH! I d like to thank Aerocat (another Arizona native, bless her soul) for giving me the chance to do something other than write reviews of classic B-movies and current CD/DVD releases, and besides AEROSMITH F*CKING ROCKS! Posted here is the URL to Aerocat s official Epinions.com Aerosmith Write-Off page, and a list of names of other hopeful Aero Force fellas and freaks joining me in the write-off. For reference purposes, I got the lyrics and and quotations/information from www.rockthisway.de and aerosmithlyrics.homestead.com.

URL: http://aerowriteoff.bravepages.com/index.html
MEMBERS: Aerocat, hipyx, matta75, thevoid99, deaser26, netnut746, pt-paratroopa, pmills1210, pearl-drum-man, jeff_wilder78, kcfoxy, fartzarellah, sparkospunky, joubert, mattbjorke, shilmafone, donignacio, ned1, fuche_bu, and frostiepekkle.

ROCK IN A HARD PLACE
The title of Aerosmith s seventh studio album sums it up perfectly: rock [music] in a hard place.

The classic Aerosmith line-up from 1970-1979 was wily vocalist Steven Tyler, skilled guitarists Joe Perry (lead) & Brad Whitford (rhythm), bassist Tom Hamilton, and drummer Joey Kramer. That is also the modern line-up of the band as well. But the band was starting to become rattled in 1979, and tensions between Joe Perry and Steven Tyler finally resulted in Perry s quitting before the release of Aerosmith s NIGHT IN THE RUTS. Brad Whitford, himself fed up with the band, kissed Aerosmith goodbye after the album did its time. The result was two members who were good, but not as vital and inspired as the aforementioned musicians: Whitford s replacement was Rick Dufay, and Perry s stand-in Jimmy Crespo.

Together, the band went into the studio with ace producer Jack Douglas (helmed ROCKS and TOYS IN THE ATTIC) around early 1982 in order to prove that Aerosmith s wings weren t broken at all. However, the resulting album, ROCK IN A HARD PLACE, is a real mixed bag. There are a few real solid rock numbers, one jazz rock experimentation, a couple rock songs that lack any real payoff, and Aerosmith s first (and last) attempt at mining Yes territory. And the fact that Stonehenge pops up on the album proves that rock was eventually becoming a parody, realized by fellow Stonehenge enthusiasts Spinal Tap. In other words: Aerosmith s most lackluster album is this one.

Jailbait kicks off the album, and is one of the highpoints of the album, bristling with trademark attitude and some neat riffs, including a punchy chorus melody. It was a song Joe Perry himself admitted was a good song, and would ve enjoyed to play on album. Tyler s stuttering and growling still remain hardly tattered and torn, and plays prowler for some action here: Take it or leave it on a Saturday night/If what you see is what you get, then gimme a bite/Here comes the ladies they is dressed to kill/Leave it to the boys and the fool on the hill.

But then a pretty young thing catches his eye, and its all rowdy desire throughout: Take or leave it roll the dice/She's hot as hell I'm cold as ice, oh jailbait/Tell your daddy how you do me/Put the woodshed, do it to me, jailbait I ain't complainin', b*tch's brew/Girl's a lover, never knew she's jailbait.

In 1987, Columbia Records placed this as the lone selection from ROCK IN A HARD PLACE to be included on the Aerosmith album rock retrospective GEMS, and Jailbat rightfully deserves its place, because it sizzles yet never fizzles.

However, Lightning Strikes (written by Richie Supa, the man behind Chip Away The Stone and later hits Amazing and Pink ) takes a washy synthesizer to kick this one into sonic overdrive, and Steven Tyler kind of sounds like Robert Palmer when the first verse kicks in. However, the trademark yowls kick in, and Tyler helps push along this chugging power-chord rocker to its destination: a synthesizer and thunder growls. And Brad Whitford played on this one, allowing a nostalgia for the original line-up. The song is a fitting piece about the wildness on the streets and the danger of getting too close:

The boys and Dukes are ready to rumble/The word on the street some heads are gonna tumble/Blades gonna flash when the street gangs clash/When there's half of you with knives/When the lightning strikes And the chains they crash like thunder/While the weak ones all retreat/Gotta draw first blood, or they'll read your funeral rites/When the lightning strikes.

The end of Lightning Strikes ties to the opening of B*tch s Brew, opening like a slow majesty but then bursting into a fiery arena rocker with some lame harmony in the verses, but still packs a nice blast, mostly due to Jimmy Crespo s meaty chops. However, the song is a fiery example of what it s like to have alcohol and fall in inebriated lust: What choo been doin' in the briar patch /What choo been doin' in your little skirt You're foolin' with the b*tch's brew/You know the things I warned you not to do/Ya fell into the briar patch/Ain't nothing gonna save your a*...I've been thinking /Ran my hands through the sands of time/Yeah and I've been drinkin'/Just to make this here song rhyme

Bolivian Ragamuffin opens wild and wooly, throwing guitars and drums against the wall, but then kicks into a slower, syncopated groove for Steven Tyler to rap his verses over like he has the subterranean homesick blues: Kickstand face looks so evil like Knievel/Never make third base like a tongue in my old lady/Like a squatez vous and a domo arigato/Tip my hat to you rock a roller obbligato. However, the song s chorus is lazy, monotone, and absolutely fails to bring out the double entendre in a fast food slogan. The song blusters along rather quickly too, and leaves us with a coda of Steven Tyler s patented manic yowls. The music packs a punch, but this can easily be considered expendable.

Their cover version of the Arthur Hamilton-penned Cry Me A River opens with electric twanging and Steven Tyler doing surprisingly sensitive jazz vocals. Cymbals kick in by the second verse, then electric guitars squelch like mad and the rock rhythm builds along. Steven Tyler has the right vocals to handle the emotion of the song, but in the end, it feels ham-handed, perhaps because I felt the production faltered and left the song sloppily executed.

Production reigns supreme on the epic of Joanie, however. A vocoder pops up on the Prelude To Joanie, warbling the fake psychedelic lyrics which appear on the album s back cover. Joanie s Butterfly has a nice acoustic feel to it, and wouldn t have sounded out of place on DRAW THE LINE, although without introduction. The song is tickled around by majestic production tricks up until the 1:44 mark, and then the song stops being sensitive and starts kickin a**. He were a kick a** rockin' horse
He like a hell bent tied to the gavin pole/It was a one time fantasy/I got the bare bones fly into the Holy Land/Bare back flyin' like a ruddered man/Nightmares and he can't hold a candle to my dreams. This is more progressive rock than true Aerosmith though, and despite its ambitions doesn t make a great centerpiece.

Rock In A Hard Place (Cheshire Cat) is an upbeat jig that crams a harmonica and saxophone in the hectic mix, and easily makes up for the pretension of that Joanie suite by staying true to Aerosmith s hatrd rock style. It was a take it or a leave it kinda Saturday night/I wish I could love you 'til the cows come home, if the make is right/If it's a make believe I say it ain't and tell you then/'Cause if it's a dream I'm in please wake me up and smile again She was a real top manner, lies and no conniver/Heart pumpin' floozy, late night driver/Her second hand clothes, smilin' like a cheshire cat.

Jig Is Up shuffles along with Zeppelin-ish sensibility, allowing Tyler to scat, shout and mumble his way through the arrangement. It s kind of hard to get what he s saying in this song, but you can make out the fact that they re talking about the sweet painted lady and loose little floozies. The song rolls along briskly, and falls out at 3:10, kind of like the way Bolivian Ragamuffin dies (if Joe Perry was in the band, he d at least kiss the song goodbye with his guitar).

Push Comes To Shove is track 10 and the last kiss goodnight for Jimmy Crespo and Rick Dufay. An opening harmonica riff and percolating piano melody make the most impression though, and Steven Tyler kind of warbles his pre-chorus around when he s not offering a come-on to all those jaded ladies: Said the music does the talkin', but all you guys talk about it/And let the girls all left behind/And their full tilt women all spend time/With me and the boys, and their toys... What they do with their toys. The actual chorus features Tyler doing a high-pitched yet low-tone version of his stage voice: Can t be in love when you live alone/Push comes to shove when you b*tch and moan. By the ending fade-out, a ruckus stalls the song and ends the album with a strange note. And in a bit of trivia, this song s drum track was played by Steven Tyler and not Joey Kramer, as the latter once said.

Some might say that Steven Tyler s addiction and the loss of Joe Perry and Brad Whitford might have taken its toll on Aerosmith, and that can be easily defended or rejected. But ROCK IN A HARD PLACE proves that it didn t really showcase anything new or great about Aerosmith or its two guitarists. Sadly, Aerosmith was caught between a rock and a hard place, and it would be a while before they got themselves out of their rut. However, the album is half good and half bad, only making it so-so, but still the weakest Aerosmith release to date.