You're Wearing That? by Deborah Tannen (2006, Hardcover)

Deborah TAnnen interviewed women about their Mother-Daughter relationships and came up with a readable and helpful tome. So far I have only browsed through it because I left my copy (?unconsciously on purpose) at the home of my adult daughter in another state. I have told my 90 yr old mother who lives in another country (Australia) that it is required reading before our next visit!! That is because this book addresses the myth that mothers and daughters are universally best friends. It is more like a love/hate relationship. A caring gesture can be perceived as a controlling gesture. A casual question - Are you going to be wearing that to the meeting tonight? can be viewed as criticism. A mother who was used to all the intimacies of caring for her child finds that when that little girl is a woman, that woman's body, mind, thoughts and life are suddenly off limits!! The book is useful to plumb the depths of disappointment that can be felt when mothers and daughters get together - as in my case- after long absences - and find a reservoir of anger they did not know was there. Like any problem, it helps to know that the problem is commonplace - this book facilitates understanding of the complex mother/daughter relationship.

The book is great although i'm still reading it. I like Tannen's boks. The book arrived in a short time.

I bought this book because my daughter who is a psychologist said she found it useful both professionally and personally. I found that it applied to all my intimate relationships illuminating the meaning behind many intense interactions.
It makes you rethink your whole attitude toward criticism. Hopefully making you less likely to give it and more able to understand and tolerate it.
At times I found the book just a bit too research oriented.

I had to purchase this book for a school project and was very satisfied with the condition of this book. I enjoyed reading this book for my project.