Why Do Men Have Nipples? by Billy Goldberg, Mark Leyner (2005, Paperback)

The fact that this book is a best seller is a testament to both the stupidity and surplus of disposable time and funds of the average American. Too harsh you say ? Well, one of the areas of investigation in this book is "Why does poo float ?". Still not convinced ? Okay, how about "Why is poo brown ?". Starting to see my point ? Just to seal the deal, how about "Why can you ignite a fart ?".

Yes, this may be the stupidest book ever written. The writing is the sort of sophomoric dribble you'd expect from a drunk frat boy. Hard to believe one of these guys actually went to medical school and got an MD. Easy to believe the other was a writer for Wonderland, a loser of an ABC television medical drama that was cancelled after three episodes.

What kind of person would buy this book ? Shallow, one-dimensional, losers who cant think of anything interesting or topical to discuss at a cocktail party and instead will try to impress, but end up annoying, fellow guests with useless pieces of information. Why does asparagus make your pee smell ? I don't know, and, like most people, I don't care.

Why should you buy this book ? Its perfect for the bathroom. Its bathroom humor, bathroom knowledge, bathroom quality writing and it will keep you interested for about as long as it takes you to, in the words of this literary masterpiece, "drop the kids of for a swim".