The Protector (HD DVD)

I've noticed a disturbing trend in a number of these reviews: People are saying they didn't like this movie because of the lame plot. Do these people have any idea how insane this is? Who cares? People are getting spoiled, I guess, by all these expensive, arty, dramatic and well-acted martial arts movies that have been being released as of late, so now they can't appreciate a fun, old school and ludicrously-plotted stunner like "The Protector". (Or, more likely, they couldn't appreciate this kinda thing in the first place.) I haven't got anything against these fancy martial arts movies, mind you, but "The Protector" is a lot more fun than almost all of them, and letting the tired, thin plot get in the way of the spectacular fighting is just insane.

The plot's like this: Some gangsters steal Tony Jaa's elephants, and he's gotta kill 'em all 'til he gets his damn elephants back. There's some subplots, yeah, but what'd I say about the plot not mattering. None of it matters in the least, or should matter, anyway. That said, I will admit that, in the international version, the story takes perhaps a bit too much screentime, particularly at the beginning. Occasionally it seems like the filmmakers forgot that the plot was to be ignored. Still, you never gotta wait around too long for it to get good, and damn does it get good.

I guess the best thing to say is that if you enjoyed "Ong-Bak" I can't imagine that you wouldn't like "The Protector" as well. Jaa plays pretty much the same character he did in "Ong-Bak", being a naive, good-natured rural guy who happens to be a superhuman killing machine. It's a bit less stunt-intensive, on Jaa's part, anyway, but he still does plenty of amazing stuff, and the fights are even better then before. The fight in the restaurant is particularly renowned, and not without good reason. It's a 4 1/2 minute unbroken take as Jaa works his way up the stairs and takes out a few dozen opponents, and it would have to qualify as one of the most stunning action scenes I've ever seen. This is hardly the only standout, and we get plenty of other scenes that would put anything in most martial arts movies to shame: We've got the ultra-bizarre face off between Jaa and a pack of roller-blade clad goons wielding fluorescent lights; We've got him taking on pretty much the whole of the Australo-Thai mafia and breaking at least one limb on each of them; We've got him fighting a colossal, apparently invulnerable Australian dude in a burning, flooded temple. And it just goes on. The fights very pretty substantially in quality, but that's mostly because of how amazing the best ones are.

Anyway, I've not got much else to say. Suffice to say, Tony Jaa is far beyond human and it'll be an absurd crime if he doesn't become far more popular in the States. Check it out.