The New Don't Blame Mother by Paula Caplan (2000, Paperback)

In 1990, Paula Caplan, a nationally recognized expert on the psychology of women, wrote the groundbreaking Don't Blame Mother. Now, almost ten years later, she finds that we are still blaming mothers. Fully revised, updated with a new introduction, this second edition proposes new ways of mending the mother-daughter relationship.
The New Don't Blame Mother: Mending the Mother-Daughter Relationship shows us that dangerous myths about mothers pervade our culture and have created or aggravated many of the problems between mothers and daughters. Myths of the "Perfect Mother" give rise to impossible expectations and set mothers up for failure--good mothers don't get angry, good mothers are endlessly giving--and myths of the "Bad Mother" exaggerate mothers' failings and create a monster figure in her image--mothers are too needy, mothers can't let go.
Caplan shows that if women can identify these myths then they can take concrete steps to build a strong and loving relationship with their mothers. The New Don't Blame Mother shows how the anger and agony of the mother-daughter relationship can be replaced with a new bond based on understanding and respect.
The New Don't Blame Mother is a must-read for all mothers and daughters. Caplan, drawing on over twenty-five years of research, clinical practice, and the experience of workshop participants, will show you how to stop blaming mother and, instead, start loving her.