Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (2004, Hardcover)

This book was really a life changer for my husband and I because it changed my perspective. I laugh now for not realizing something as important as respect could be a driving force behind a man's character, or lack of, but now I have changed the way I act. Before, I was always guilty of slandering my spouse with statements like, "Ah, you never do anything right." and then wondering why he didn't respond to me like when we first met. The truth is some people may find ideas in this book a little archaic because the book preaches women need love and men need respect - and some people find that offensive, but I looked deeper past my own ego and realized it is very true. My marriage has been a lot better since I read this book in 2004 when it was first released. I would recommend this book to any married couple in the hopes it could provide you with the same wisdom it gave me. Just to give you an example of what I liked about it, there is one part where the couple is fighting, she is yelling at him and he is sitting there silent, the more she yells, the more silent he becomes until finally he gets up and leaves. The book explains this behavior from both sides, and maybe it touched me so much because it had happened in my life and I THOUGHT I understood but I didn't. The woman was screaming because she desired a response, she wanted to talk and screaming was her way of trying to raise emotion from the man, whereas the man doesn't want to scream at her because he is trying to respect her. It explains it more thoroughly but that is just a quick taste.

this is a good book for Husband and Wives to read becuase it gives a new meaning to how we need to think and treat our spouse.
I bought it for a wedding gift for a friend. I think more couples need to read this book

The Bible teaches specifically that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and that women are to respect their husbands. Perhaps Eggerich is correct when he concludes that this is because it is easier, on the whole, for women to love and for men to show respect. This book was truly life-changing for me because it gave me an even greater understanding of my dear husband.

My wife and I began the study of this book with a church group with high hopes. It had some good points and food for thought particularly about how to respond to one another. But for a book for Christians, the main formula omits nearly anything about trusting God in the midst of disagreement or praying for restoration. Some of the questions in the accompanying workbook are silly rather than thought-provoking. The book focuses on two acronyms - one for men and one for women - that seem to have been developed to suit the acronym rather than real help. It is not a complete waste of money and time; that said, I would not purchase it again and would not recommend it.

My wife and I we're refered to this book by a mutual couple of ours. I'm to the fifth chapter and she's in the third, unusual. We're trying to read it together. My wife doesn't speak for it or against it yet so that's good. We're making some real strides in our relationship and that's a miracle given our pasts and what's been modeled to us by our parents.

Gave me an entirely outlook on marriage. Opened up the Bible's teaching on marriage to me and I wish I'd known this in my younger years. All ages can benefit from this book and teaching on marriage and relationships.

The Couples' Group at our church is doing a study of this book. It has sparked some excellent conversations! We are all very happy with the writing and the balanced views represented. He does a great job telling the truth--not just spiting out "politically correct" jargin!

This book really give scriptural insight as to how we need to see our spouses. I recommend it for anyone who is looking to improve their understanding of their spouse & improve their relationship with them.

Discover the Single Greatest Secret to a Successful Marriage

Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.

Today, you and your mate can start fresh with the ground-breaking guidance that Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides in this book. His revolutionary message, featured on Focus on the Family, is for anyone: in marital crisis...wanting to stay happily married...who's feeling lonely. It's for engaged couples...victims of affairs...pastors and counselors seeking material that can save a marriage.

Using Dr. Eggerich's breakthrough techniques, couples nationwide are achieving a brand-new level of intimacy and learning how to: - stop the Crazy Cycle of conflict - initiate the Energizing Cycle of change - enjoy the Rewarded Cycle of new passion

And if you'll take this biblically based counsel to heart, your marriage could be next!

This book contains some helpful tips on relating to one's spouse. However, it contains too much sexism, for instance, calling men the leaders, but not REQUIRING them to lead (stating that the "more mature" person should take the lead whether man or woman.) That's practical, but why not require leaders to lead?!
Eggerichs makes the point that wives need to respect their husbands, and husbands need to love their wives, but it seems clear that scripturally, both genders need both. The author does say that both genders need both love and respect, but that's not the point of his text, in fact, it's the antithesis of his overall thrust, so it's a disconnect every time he undercuts his thesis. I encourage the reading of 1Peter 3:8-9 which instructs both partners to live harmoniously, sympathetically, brotherly, not giving insults but blessings.

Eggrichs coins the term "crazy cycle" for an argument or escalating disagreement. He gives some practical helps in dealing with these, but doesn't get to the root issues that precipitate the disagreement.

I have known professionals who worked with the mentally disturbed and they bristle at the term "crazy" and find it inappropriate. In this case, I agree, because it is not a crazy cycle; people of sound mind but hurt, disappointed or in some other way affected may find themselves arguing...but they are not crazy.

I would not recommend this book, even though it may help some. There are many much more inspiring texts on relating to one's spouse.

This is the best book about marriage and relationships. (believe me ... I've read them all!) I insist that everyone that is contemplating marriage, separation or the dreaded divorce to READ THIS BOOK. I wish I knew about this book a few years ago. After 27 years of marriage, I have finally learned some very important things about man's need for respect over love. Ladies - please trust me! Buy it, read it, share it! Use it!! LIVE IT!!!
My book was a gift from HB London from Focus on the Family. I bought my husband a copy. My son is getting married in February and he will be getting a copy soon. If I see someone looking at books about marriage and relationships, I guide them toward this book. Love & Respect is now given as part of any shower or wedding gift we give. Churches should give it out as a prerequisite to marriage. Every marriage counselor should have a copy and start encouraging people to try the principles. Marriage is a lifetime commitment NOT a feel good for the moment proposition. People are too quick to give up and give in.
ok, now I'm off my soapbox. The best book I've ever read! thank you.

making marriage great?

This is it, full of meaningful, godly wisdom for the marriage relationship :)

Based on scripture. So true to life, I was able to relate through out the whole book. It also challenged me to change my ways.

One of the best books/DVD around regarding respect for each other in a stable marriage. This book is for newlyweds as well as for "well seasoned" married couples. Highly recommend this book.

great book for any marriage or relationship of any type. the information here can be used for single people and married alike

Got exactly what I paid for. I was pleased with the delivery time, and a smooth transaction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy with what I learned in this book, it makes perfect sense and is so easy to apply in my marriage everyday. I am seeing great results in showing my husband respect he has begun to treat me like he did when we were first dating. I bought this book because I was tired of being unhappy in my marriage and I applied the principals and am seeing results. Great book for married couples even if you are happy this book will keep it that way!

I have yet to read the book myself. But I have heard so many good things about it. It can be for married couples or engaged. I look forward to what it holds inside.

This is an excellent book for anyone single, married, engaged, or divorced. Two basic principles based on Ephesians 5:33, that will enhance your relationships. I highly recommend it.

I bought this book for a friend who is thinking of getting a divorce after many years of marriage. It gives people a real prospective about their spouse and what can be changed and what can't. I highly recommend it to anyone who is married. Even if your marriage is not on the rocks.

This item is great. I got the hard cover book and the workbook. Although the front cover of the book was bitten by the dog( as advertised on ebay) this was a great deal!I thought it was very funny. What kind of dog? Anyway thanks so much and it was on time. I can not complain.

This was a good book as far as it went, but lacked a little in depth of understanding that respect is necessary for both the male and the female in a marriage, not just the male. Both genders need to first have respect for themselves instilled into them at an early age so that they can know how to respect God, others, their dates, and later their spouse. There were some good suggestions for how to show respect, but a bit one sided and neglected some very valuable scripture. Women do not just need love, but they need respect as well, and a man cannot honor his wife as it says in 1Pe 3:7 without respecting her and showing her that respect. Love, honour, and respect are so closely knitted together in a successful marriage relationship that they cannot be separated as necessities for one particular by gender and not the other as this book tends to do suggest through lack of exploring the subject in more depth.

Great books for newlyweds, engaged couples to read. I would definitely recommend this book for couples who want to improve their relationship