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All rights reserved.In Sheep's Clothing by George K. Simon (1996)
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Must have this bookReview created: 02/04/08
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Loved the book. It's a great coping book. THis book explains my mother-in-law and father to a T. It helped me catch the bait that they usually throw my way and just handle the issue straight forwardly. I wish I had this book in my teens it would have also helped with friendships. I would recomend this book to anyone that feels trapped or often stunted by another individual. The best manipulators do it without you knowing it. This book helps you identify the signs.
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In Sheep's Clothing is more of a LambReview created: 10/05/06
by:
lucienbonnafoux ( 1 )
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.
The “How” manipulative personalities work and “Why” they behave that way are good. Simon offers up some excellent examples of behavior and reasoning on what the manipulator is attempting to be achieved, but little on what modalities the victim of such an attack can use to achieve a positive result. Except for a short comment stating the manipulative personality is unlikely going to change, there is little mention on how to work on an ongoing basis. The conclusion one is left with is “Run.” The difference, as I see it, between the “manipulator” (both overt and covert) and the rest of the population is the extent and frequency they use the techniques. A chronic manipulator may be easier to address than an occasional one in that employing anti-blackmail tactics will leave the chronic manipulator without alternative resources to get their way and may be able to learn more appropriate responses if a positive alternative is presented. The occasional manipulator is far harder to address as that person has a battery of defensive behaviors from which to draw upon and is much better at shifting mechanisms when faced with non-compliance.
Another factor not covered is the level of mental instability of the perpetrator. Someone afflicted with BPD would be far more difficult to address than a child recently embarking on the manipulative model.
Another factor not covered is the level of mental instability of the perpetrator. Someone afflicted with BPD would be far more difficult to address than a child recently embarking on the manipulative model.
Review ID: 10000000002016788
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Between Average and GoodReview created: 11/17/05
by:
sediqua123 ( 0 )
1 of 1 people found this review helpful.
The book started out excellent, probably the most in-depth and useful psychology book written with practicality in mind. What I liked best, was how the author describes, normal people, vs disordered thinking, which sets the premise for understanding. Then, the author goes into tactics, that manipulative use, and how to "deal" with them.
That is the only problem I have with this book, it tells you how to "deal" and cope, but not really how to solve the problem. Manipulation takes many forms, and is the baseline of many disorders, including those people that are aggressively narcissistic, (NPD) are socio paths, etc. as well, as people with problems on a lesser scale. Because manipulation exists with the dangerous minded, I was very disappointed that the book did not even address the notion, of how to break a relationship off, with such a dangerous person.
I would expect a chapter on that. When someone picks up this book, they are looking to be empowered in dealing with the situation and then going beyond. What this book is highlight what most know, people use these tactics, so they dont have to confront the truth, and thus change. In fact, these the covert aggressers, which is the subject of the book, typically if ever, reform, and the author explains why that is.
The author gives reasonable advice, like setting limits, confrontation, etc. but he missed the key point, GETTING AWAY!!! People listen to action, and not words, and getting away is the best and most effective action of all.
I think a chapter should be added, to deal with the attachment issues of manipulative people. They loves themselves the way they are, they will not change, which is fine, we all have power over our own choices. But more explanation should be going into hows and whys of breaking off such a negative relationship, with a person that refuses to treat anyone with respect. (and that is an understatment)
I was really really surprised and disappointed that was NOT in the book. What is it about the manipulative person, that makes outrageous demands, on people, but then, refuses to be fired??
Maybe, that will be in the next book, a sequal or revision perhaps??? But that is why I could give this review an EXCELLENT!!! To much was missing.
That is the only problem I have with this book, it tells you how to "deal" and cope, but not really how to solve the problem. Manipulation takes many forms, and is the baseline of many disorders, including those people that are aggressively narcissistic, (NPD) are socio paths, etc. as well, as people with problems on a lesser scale. Because manipulation exists with the dangerous minded, I was very disappointed that the book did not even address the notion, of how to break a relationship off, with such a dangerous person.
I would expect a chapter on that. When someone picks up this book, they are looking to be empowered in dealing with the situation and then going beyond. What this book is highlight what most know, people use these tactics, so they dont have to confront the truth, and thus change. In fact, these the covert aggressers, which is the subject of the book, typically if ever, reform, and the author explains why that is.
The author gives reasonable advice, like setting limits, confrontation, etc. but he missed the key point, GETTING AWAY!!! People listen to action, and not words, and getting away is the best and most effective action of all.
I think a chapter should be added, to deal with the attachment issues of manipulative people. They loves themselves the way they are, they will not change, which is fine, we all have power over our own choices. But more explanation should be going into hows and whys of breaking off such a negative relationship, with a person that refuses to treat anyone with respect. (and that is an understatment)
I was really really surprised and disappointed that was NOT in the book. What is it about the manipulative person, that makes outrageous demands, on people, but then, refuses to be fired??
Maybe, that will be in the next book, a sequal or revision perhaps??? But that is why I could give this review an EXCELLENT!!! To much was missing.
Review ID: 10000000000064607
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