The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James, Russell Friedman (1998, Paperback, Revised)

A friend, whose wife had died from cancer, recommended this book to me after my father died. The book, however, is not limited to the grief associated with death but extends to all of life's losses, such as major changes in any relationship or status that was meaningful (divorce, marriage, graduation, etc.). The book clearly outlines the culturally propagated ideas we "know" regarding how to handle loss, and shows how most of them teach us to not really address or experience our grief, with the consequence that we never really heal. The authors provide a series of exercises aimed at identifying our short-term coping strategies and major moments of stress (through loss and gain) so that an unresolved emotional relationship may be "completed." The authors (strongly) encourage working with a partner to effect healing, which is something you might want to consider if purchasing a book (buy 2!). Of course, the option remains for "going it alone," but this mentality in dealing with grief is something the authors are trying hard to remedy.

Personally, I found this book a refreshing change from a more clinical or religious approach (and I say that as a "religious" person). This does not mean that the book is without scientific foundation or bereft of religious sensitivity, just that it holds these in (what I think is proper) perspective in relation to the others. The book is sympathetic to the frailties of human beings and its efficacy doesn't depend upon whether or not you are religious.

Although I have read the book, I have yet to complete the exercises (since I don't have a partner and didn't know that this would be so beneficial to the healing process), so I can't speak to whether they actually help diminish grief, though I can't see why they wouldn't. They force you to look at your own behaviors and honestly assess relationships (the good and the bad in each... no one is perfect). The book is fairly short and the pages light on text, so it's very accessible to adult audiences and perhaps young adults/teens. The only shortcoming is that the benefit of having a partner wasn't clear to me up front, so, in writing this review, I'm hoping others won't have the same problem.

The book was in excellent condition. I was totally pleased with the delivery and condition. It is just what I ordered at a great price.