Flash Gordon (DVD, 1999)

If you recognize that line, chances are you've already slavishly addicted to this vibrant and campy classic. Loosely based on the classic 1930's serial by Alex Raymond, this decadent over-the-top feature-length film extravaganza still delivers the goods as well today as it did back in 1980.

A great All-American storyline? Of course! Where else can the brawny blonde star quarterback for the New York Jets rocket off into space with, and gutsy travel agent, and The Fiddler on the Roof? Only in America! They land to battle the evil Emperor Ming (played flawlessly by Max Von Sydow with a well-held balance between seductive tyranny and bumbling humor).

And Flash gets a crack at two women in the film? Yeah, I think you guys out there would enjoy that, particularly the fact that Ornella Muti, who plays Princess Aura (who also gets a crack at a more than one guy in the film) seems to wear skimpier and skimpier clothing as the story progresses...it almost seems like she's wearing less fabric and more jewels...but I think Brian Blessed steals the day as the hulky and charming Prince Vultan who delivers some of the film's better one liners.

Costumes and sets are absolutely breathtakingly intricate, shiny, and coated with sequins, metalwork, jewelwork, and beading. Dino de Laurentiis clearly spared no expense in the decadent sets that make this rich and sexy space-pageant an ocular treat for those weary of the earthy and dirty, "real-world" space flicks.

Oh, and last but definitely not least is that classic signature Queen sound that tops the visual intensity with a electronic guitar symphony of pure BRIE CHEEZINESS. It no wonder this cult classic never leaves me bored. It's one of the best playthings out there to add to your collection.