Caligula (VHS, 1984, Edited Version)

LET'S FACE IT FOLKS, IF YOU ARE GOING TO PURCHASE A FILM LIKE 'CALIGULA', YOU ARE ALREADY ADMITTING THAT YOU KNOW FROM THE ONSET, THAT YOU ARE IN FOR AN EVENING OF DEBAUCHERY, MURDER, ORGIES, DEPRAVITY AND YES, I ADMIT IT, GOOD OLD FASHIONED, CAMPY SMUT. IT AMAZES ME THAT SOME HOLIER-THAN-THOU PEOPLE, UPON VIEWING THIS RAUNCHFEST, ACT SO SHOCKED AND HORRIFIED AT ITS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF ONE OF THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS MADMEN AND HIS DEPRAVED ANTICS AND ATROCITIES. WHAT'S TO BE SHOCKED ABOUT??? IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE OVER-THE-TOP MADNESS; SO ENJOY ALREADY !!! CALIGULA'S STAR, MALCOM MCDOWELL, MOST FAMOUS FOR 'A CLOCKWORK ORANGE' GIVES A TRULY CAMPY PERFORMANCE AND ONE OF HIS BEST, I MIGHT ADD. MCDOWELL IS SO FRIGHTENINGLY GOOD, THAT HE TRULY SEEMS TO ENJOY ALL THE DEPRAVITY AND I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYONE ELSE IN THIS ROLE. THIS FILM DOES NOT PRETEND TO BE SHAKESPEARE OR ANY OTHER FORM OF HIGH ART FOR THAT MATTER, JUST BIG-BUDGET SEX, DEPRAVITY AND ULTIMATELY, WEIRDNESS. IT ACHIEVES ALL OBJECTIVES IF ONE VIEWS WITH AN OPEN MIND AND AN EMPTY STOMACH. I PURCHASED THIS ONE MYSELF ON EBAY AND THE CAST, BEGINNING WITH MCDOWELL BUT ALSO PETER O'TOOLE, HELEN MIRREN, AND JOHN GIELGUD, PEAKED MY CURIOSITY. BUY THE UNEDITED VERSION ON EBAY AND KICK THE KIDS OUT FOR THE NIGHT AND ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY.

This movie is not really for women. It shows a lot of full-on female genitalae and shots of men who are severely under-equipped, if you know what I mean. As a bi-sexual woman I was not aroused because the men are all unattractive and the gratuitous female genitalae shots were more clinical than exciting. I felt like I was watching a gynecology film.

The violence is overrated. If you've seen The Saw movies you will not be affected by what is offered here. Historically the sex and violence might be accurate, but the movie offers little in the way of plot, script, cinematography. Even the acting is bad. In fact, I found this movie quite boring.

It is also comical in several scenes. In the first half hour, Malcolm McDowell breaks out into this ludicrous "thumbs-up" dance which I'm sure was intended to be taken serious, but I couldn't help but laugh. In another scene, McDowell sleeps with his horse like a child would with his teddy bear.

The sex scenes are void of art and seduction so I didn't find them arousing or interesting. I think they were inserted to titillate and arouse men and create scandal.

If you are a woman, I would think hard before paying money for this movie. If you want to watch good porn, I would recommend going to a Gay porn site and investing in some guy-on-guy porn. You'll get to see very attractive young men in many provocative situations and, if you're a straight female, it can be very educational. Caligula is just way too boring.