The Brotherhood of the Wolf (DVD, 2002)

This is the most boring movie I have ever seen in my life...this is the only movie that while I was watching it, I actually got up off of the sofa to see if I had any dishes that I could wash! This statement is not meant to be a joke! I actually started looking around the house while the movie was playing, and was more interested in whether or not I had dishes in the sink from lunch that might need to be washed than what was going on in the movie...while the movie was still playing! Fortunately, there WERE dishes in the sink that I could wash...which I did, while the movie was still monotonously droning on...and on...After the dishes were washed, I went back to the sofa...tried yelling at the movie for something...anything...to happen...(nothing really did)...and started looking at the living room table to look over the magazines that I have there to see if I had not read any of them yet...(again, the movie is still playing at this time...),upon glancing at the table, I saw the remote for the DVD player...and a thought occurred to me which had never occurred to me before....(wait a minute...there is always a choice in the DVD menu to choose which chapter to go to! Is it possible that while the movie is playing that I can skip to the next Chapter of the movie?) Fortunately for me...yes! My remote does in fact have a "skip chapter" button! (Yeah!) Again, this is not a joke, this is exactly what I was doing. I started skipping chapters! I would press the skip/next chapter button...count out 30 seconds, and if nothing interesting had happened, I would press the skip/next chapter button again until I saw something interesting happen. If I saw anything interesting at all withing 30 seconds of skip chapter, I would back up to the previous chapter and let it play through until the interesting scene happened! ATTENTION PEOPLE THAT HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE YET BUT MIGHT WANT TO...I purchased this movie because of three reasons...(1) The title...The Brotherhood of the Wolf?...I actually like wolves, I think that they are great animals, so there is one plus for buying this movie! (2) This might end up being a werewolf story! Again, another bonus for me, I thing werewolf stories are pretty cool...(depending upon the movie...and the producer...and...and...) (3) This movie has Monica Belluci in it! I think that Monica Belluci is very beautiful, and upon seeing an article from Maxim magazine (I believe) that had a very beautiful picture of her in this movie in the article...(No...nothing naked!), this was the last and final reason that I wanted to purchase this movie. So...let's cover what I was looking forward to, (1) The wolves...um...you'll see them for about a total of 10-15 minutes of this 2 hour and 24 minute movie. (2) A possible werewolf story...um...no...the "beast" in this story is...a...um...lion(?) taken from Africa, given some type of...um...twig or tree branch armor...trained to kill innocent people, and can somehow be "magically" (I guess) electrified! I'm not going to watch this movie again to try to figure this one out! And(3)...Monica...yes, she is hot, she does appear nude (for a total of 1 minute divided into two different scenes, which does not leave the other 2 hours and 23 minutes worth watching, and the believeability of this movie is crap! One of the heroes is an American Indian, in 16th/17th century France, that is a martial arts expert, as is all the French people he fights! It just gets worse!!!