Bradshaw on :The Family by John Bradshaw (1996, Paperback, Revised)

I bought this book because my counselor was told by a colleague that it was a good book to use in therapy. My counselor and I now make jokes about how awful this book was !

There are several levels of awfulness to this book:

1) Bradshaw is a big fan of using multisyllabic psychobabble to make you think he knows what he is talking about. So try this - pick out one paragraph in the book, and go through sentence by sentence, and translate it to everyday English. To your shock and dismay you will discover he isn't actually saying anything. I'd give you an example here of a translation, but frankly I threw the book away (it's not even worth donating).

2) I've read and used many therapy books on families that are so much easier to understand, offer much better insight into families, and have much better advice on how to explore issues and figure out how to handle them. Just because you have to work hard to read this book doesn't mean it has better advice. About 90% of the books I've read and used in counseling are superior to this book. As far as I am concerned this book does not offer any therapeutic value (and my counselor agrees with me).

3) It takes about 2 pages to get totally tired of Bradshaw's superior attitude. Being in counseling is hard enough. Bradshaw is really condescending and without compassion. You'd be better off using a book that has good information and confronts issues head-on without the power trip attitude. Too bad he doesn't give advice on how to deal with a person like himself!

4) Bradshaw does not help you take his (bad) insights and advice and apply it to your own life. Many therapy books have companion workbooks and such to help you do this, or at least guides within the book to help you connect what you are learning with your own life. It's not enough to develop insights into what is going on; to get better you actually need to apply what you learn. So in the end you can't really DO anything with Bradshaw's book - it never reaches beyond feigned intellectualism to actually help you deal with your life.

So, BE NICE TO YOURSELF AND DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!!!! Instead, help yourself by buying a book by Cloud, Townsend, Allender, Dobson, or any of the other great therapist-writers who combine great (and better) insight, clear steps to work through issues, and compassion.